“What kind of murderer has moral fiber?” — “A cereal killer.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”
One day George W. Bush was feeling kind of weird. He went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor came back and said, Mr. President, everything is alright. But there is one problem. What’s that? said Mr. Bush, well Mr. President you have two brains a left brain and a right brain. The president replied “hey that’s great I have twice as much brains as anybody else”. The doctor said yes but there’s still a problem. The president said what’s that? Well the doctor said in your left brain there’s nothing right, and in your right brain there’s nothing left.